I Can’t Accept I Wasn’t Enough

What story might you be telling yourself about the facts? It could even be some of your friends are also creating a story around “why”. 

For example, you might be asking yourself, “Why didn’t he care enough to work on our marriage? Why was it so easy for him to move on? Did he ever care about me? Why did he treat me the way he did? What did I do that made him abuse me? Why wasn’t our marriage worth fighting for? Am I not worth it? What’s wrong with me? What did she have that I didn’t have? Am I that defective? How could he discard me so easily? Didn’t I mean anything to him? Were his vows meaningless? 

This is important: This story we tell ourselves about the “facts” can add additional suffering to an already hard situation. I once worked with a woman whose only son was killed riding his bicycle on a sunny afternoon. That was the fact. Horrible. Heartbreaking. But the story she told herself was, “I shouldn’t have let him ride his bike alone. I am a bad mother. It’s my fault he was killed. I wasn’t outside watching him.” Now this story she told herself compounded her grief (which was appropriate) with shame, guilt, anger, and self-hatred. Her son was twelve years old. No twelve-year-old boy wants his mom outside watching him ride his bike. Yet her story added additional suffering to her already broken heart.

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Kathleen Notes: The narratives we tell ourselves need to be based on truth..your thoughts/feelings are important but often not truth...



- - Volume: 10 - WEEK: 46 Date: 11/10/2022 7:15:57 PM -