While it may seem appealing to minimize opportunities for discomfort, avoidance is a serious problem many people deal with. Imagine avoidance on a continuum. The more prevalent avoidance is in your life, the more severe an impact it will have. Research has linked avoidance to shame and addictions, most recently internet addiction (Farkush & Fatemeh, 2022).

Those with significant avoidant tendencies may exhibit some of the characteristics below.

• A feeling of being generally inferior to others with a tendency toward shame.
• Hesitance to try new activities, pursue goals, or meet new people.
• Fear of being criticized, rejected, or judged.
• A concern that others will find them lacking or even unappealing.
• Tendency to keep people at arm’s length.
• Tendency to be restricted and somewhat anxious in social settings.

If you’re relating to some items on this list, you may have an avoidant style. What’s tricky about living a life of avoidance is that avoidance is a lonely endeavor. When you deeply fear rejection due to self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy, it’s difficult to share this with others or seek help. So, you persevere, living in a cycle of fear, anxiety, avoidance, and shame.