What do You Mean by Married?

Some people feel most comfortable fulfilling the role of a traffic cop, as it preoccupies their attention and keeps them from having to think about their own shortcomings. It gives them a sense of purpose, and sometimes even feeling fear and suspicion is more energizing than feeling bored or apathetic.

Other people like to be policed; it absolves them from having to look after themselves. They’ll keep running into trouble because their partner acts like a safety net, ready to catch them so they don’t hit the ground too hard. They may act like they resent the interference, but deep down, they know they need it.

There are considerable problems with entering this kind of marriage. First, if you’re the “police,” you’re assuming you don’t need someone to hold you accountable. If you’re the criminal or in the save-me-role, you’re indulging your laziness by refusing to love, look after, or serve someone else. That makes this relationship character-corrupting rather than character-forming.

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Kathleen Notes: Thinking about what t actually means to be married is vital. Do you want to fulfill the role of husband/wife or do you just want to have a spouse?



- - Volume: 10 - WEEK: 23 Date: 6/2/2022 7:59:37 AM -