‘Can I talk to you?’ – How to Be the One They Come to When Things Feel Big

All children and teens want to do the right thing, but the ‘right’ thing won’t always look as it should because they also need to try new things, discover their edges, experiment with their independence, and feel connected with their peers. Sometimes these needs will clash with what’s right. Sometimes the battle will be mighty. As capable as our children are of making good decisions, and as much as they might intend to, occasionally good decisions can be left gasping for air on a cold concrete floor, stampeded by what feels important.

It will take time for them to learn how to get what they want in ways that don’t cause breakage. In the meantime, they’ll need plenty of guidance. The best guidance will come from you because nobody will care more about where they land than you. They know that, but they also know they don’t ever want to disappoint you. As the important adults in their lives, the challenge is to hold the boundaries strong, but with tender hands. We want them to know where the boundaries are, but also that when those boundaries are broken (and they will be, plenty of times) that we’re safe to turn to – even through the messiest of the messes.


Kathleen Notes: This piece is so vital to effective parenting.

- - Volume: 9 - WEEK: 47 Date: 11/18/2021 8:53:52 AM -