Don’t Let Your Expectations Push Away Your Adult Children
Sherry Collier, a licensed family and marriage therapist, advises parents, “We should think in terms of seeking to understand what emotions or needs may be motivating our adult child’s choice. We can do this by asking questions out of caring curiosity and then actively listening.” Collier says that once we understand our young people’s motives, “We can either choose to remain silent or prayerfully respond with information they may find helpful.”..

....Trying to convince or guilt adult children into making different choices is no way to maintain a healthy relationship with them. In fact, those kinds of interactions could result in long-term resentment. Collier says, “Our adult children can pick up on the motivations behind our verbal and nonverbal responses to their choices. Before we respond at all, we need to take a little time to calm ourselves, breathe, pray and remind ourselves that our long-term goal is to create mutually loving and respectful relationships.”

We can’t tell them which shoes to wear, where to work, or where they can live. We can extend grace for decisions that are different than ours. After all, we want to make our own choices and adult children need to make theirs.

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Kathleen Notes: There is some good wisdom here. As parents we have to develop adult relationships with our adult children based in mutual respect.



- - Volume: 9 - WEEK: 46 Date: 11/11/2021 9:20:09 AM -