What Romance Is … and Isn’t

When I married my husband, Robbie, his favorite time to introduce some “romance” was in the middle of a fight. I think he thought his gestures would stop the fumes coming out my ears. It didn’t work.

Years later, we still struggle with our understanding of what romance is. I continually remind him that sitting together on the couch with the television news broadcasting, while he surfs social media and I piddle with my newest hobby, does not add up to “quality time.” He can’t understand why that many hours in the same vicinity doesn’t count for something. And he’s not alone.

Recently, a man named Don* contacted me about an article I wrote on romance. His wife, too, had been disappointed with him, even though he felt he paid her hours of attention. And since they both started working from home, he was spending more time with her than ever before. He thought that was sufficient. But when he wanted to go hunting or fishing with friends, she was hurt.

Both Don and my husband have come to their wit’s end trying to figure out how to make us women happy. After talking with them and a few exasperated wives, I’m convinced romance has acquired a case of mistaken identity. Neither husband nor wife really knows what romance is. They just know when they haven’t had it. It’s especially frustrating when there has been a lot of talking, but nothing seems to change.

This is where husbands and wives often miss each other—how does one define “romance”? You can talk about an issue all day, but unless you have the same definition, no one comes to a real understanding.


Kathleen Notes: Admittedly from a female point of view...I help where I can...

- - Volume: 9 - WEEK: 15 Date: 4/8/2021 8:37:57 AM -