We crave chemistry and romance, which focuses on our own feelings. When we nurture this conditional love, our irritation increases when our spouses aren’t exactly who or what we want or wish for. Our spouses fear making mistakes and unavoidable physical changes. It is demanding and disrespectful. Marriages sustained on conditional love will almost always wither from malnutrition. Marriage lasts when we love a person just as they are, with their gifts and goofs, features and flaws alike. Unconditional love focuses on our spouses, accepting, encouraging, and loving them just as they are. Sometimes we sacrifice what we want for them. This is not submitting to abuse and allowing someone to hit or degrade us, but it is instead choosing to love an imperfect spouse.

According to 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8, unconditional love is:

• Patient, persevering with a smile during troubles;
• Kind, friendly, generous, warm-hearted;
• Not envious, boastful, or proud, puts the other person first;
• Not easily angered, open to criticism without becoming defensive too quickly;
• Keeps no record of wrongs, forgiving;
• Rejoices when they choose to do what is right;
• Protecting, from damage, injury, difficulty or unpleasantness;
• Trusting, placing confidence in their best intentions;
• Hopeful, optimistic; and
• Never gives up.

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Kathleen Notes: If you can hang in there, romantic love can become something deeper and authentic...worth working for....